婚姻

婚姻幽默（中英文） "When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." 如果有人搶了你的老婆，最好的報復就是讓他留著。 Lee Majors (美國電影明星 - 李.梅爾) "After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay" together. 結婚後夫妻就像一個硬幣的兩面·；他們不但不能面對面，而且還分不開。 Al Gore (克林頓當總統時的副總統 - 阿爾·戈爾) "By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." 不管怎麼樣，還是結婚的好。如果你找到一個好太太，你會很幸福。假如你找到一個壞的，你會成為一個哲學家。 Socrates (古希臘的思想家、哲學家，教育家 - 蘇格拉底) "Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them." 女人給了男人做大事的激勵和靈感，同時又給了男人完成大事的阻力。 Mike Tyson (前美國拳王 - 麥克.泰森) "The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" 有一個好問題我總是沒答案；那就是 “女人到底想要什麼？” George Clooney (美國著名演員 - 喬治·克魯尼) "I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me." 我跟我太太才說了幾個字，她卻回了我一段長篇大論。 Bill Clinton (美國前總統- 比爾.克林頓) "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." 有人問我婚姻能維持這麼長的秘密。我們每個星期去餐館兩次。晚餐有燭光，音樂，和跳舞。她星期二去，我星期五去。 George W. Bush (美國前總統 - 小布希) "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." 我不怕恐怖分子。我已經結婚兩年了。 Rudy Giuliani (前紐約市911事件時的市長 - 魯迪.朱利安尼) "Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up." 有兩個秘密能讓你的婚姻圓滿： 1. 當你錯時，馬上認錯。 2. 當你對時，閉上嘴巴。 Shaquille O’Neal (美國籃球巨星 - 沙奎爾.奧尼爾) "The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once..." 最有效的方法記住你太太的生日就是先忘掉一次。 Kobe Bryant (美國籃球巨星 - 科比·布萊恩特) "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." 我太太和我都高高興興的過了二十年，然後我們相遇了。 Alec Baldwin (美國電影明星 - 亞歷克.鮑德溫) "A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong." 一個好太太當她是錯的時候總是原諒她的丈夫。 Barack Obama (美國總統- 歐巴馬) "Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy." 婚姻是唯一的敵我睡在一張床上的戰爭。 Tommy Lee (美國老牌電影明星 - 湯米.李) "First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." 有個人驕傲的說 “我的太太是天使！” 另一個聽到的人說 “你真幸運！我的還活著！” Jimmy Kimmel (美國著名電視節目主持人 - 吉米.金米爾) “Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first’?” Husband replies, “That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today, because a lady went first!” “親愛的，女士優先又怎麼了？” 丈夫回答說，”今天世界亂成這個樣子就是因為有女的先來了！“ David Letterman (美國電視著名脫口秀主持人 - 大衛.萊特曼) SEND THIS TO FRIENDS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH...... AND TO THOSE LADIES WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR WHO CAN HANDLE IT!!!!!!! 請轉送給你的朋友, 以及那些有幽默感的女士, 讓他們開懷一笑!!!!!